Purpose

In the new awesome devotional journal my amazing hubby got me for Christmas, day 2 covered the story of Esther. Now, understand, the story of Esther that I’ve heard has always had a bit of a “girl power” twist to it. Ya know, “You may be a girl, but God can do things through you, too!” I’m not so big on that. Sure, God can do things through girls, but doesn’t everybody need to be reminded that God can use them even if they’re a boy?

I digress. What hit me this time started with a line from the devo commentary that said this “God values your spot in history, just as He charted Esther’s course”. Then, the prayer at the bottom said this “Sovereign Lord, I think too small, with no concept of Your creativity. Give me a glimpse of Your dreams for me. Amen.” And, of course, the verse that accompanied all of this was Esther 4:14, where Mordecai says to Esther “If you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” God doesn’t value my place in history just because I’m His beloved (although I am). He doesn’t value my place in history just so I can enjoy life and find pleasure in it (although He wants me to). He values my place in history because He has dreams and purpose for me. Some dreams, He’s already given me. Some He’s still revealing. And, sadly, some I’ve caught and let slip away. There’s a reason I’m here. There’s a reason I’m here NOW. And that reason is not to be taken lightly. The verse in Esther says “If you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance WILL ARISE…FROM ANOTHER PLACE”. God has an agenda, and it happens with or without my cooperation. God has plans and purposes for my life and those around me, I just have to be willing to be obedient to the King. God’s plan for my life (and yours, too, for that matter) isn’t just about me. It’s big. No, seriously, big. It’s up to me, though, what dreams I allow God to cause to come true in my life. Have you dreamed too small? I know I sure have. Have you “remained completely silent” about dreams God’s given you? That’s me, too. Have you stopped dreaming altogether? Sometimes… I don’t say that to be a downer, trust. I say it because my God is not only the giver of dreams, but He’s the healer of broken ones, which I was reminded of recently. What’s your dream? More importantly, what’s God’s dream for you?

The thing that I’m possibly even more thankful for than dreams is Mordecai’s. Mordecai was the one who spurred Esther on toward God’s purpose for her. He helped her take a chance. The king could have killed her for coming to him without being summoned, but Mordecai reminded her “Who knows? This might be why you’re there in the first place!” (My translation, of course). Pray for a dream this year, whether new or restored. Pray for a Mordecai. And pray for the chance to be a Mordecai for someone else.

That Kind of Girl

I've had a bit of a problem over the last couple months. I don't know exactly how it started, but just after Thanksgiving I decided I just wasn't dressing trendy enough. You know, I don't own a pair of leggings, little heeled booties, or anything with a houndstooth print. Furthermore, if I even DID buy any of those things, I haven't the slightest idea what would go with what. Do you wear black tights with black shoes? That doesn't seem right to me. It's ok to wear skinny jeans WITHOUT tucking them into boots? I was lost. And a little stressed about it. I mean, I'm a youth pastor's wife! I've gotta know these things, right? I've gotta be hip. I need to be relevant. I poured out my woes to my best friend, Jessica, and her sister Jozie (poor girl) at Target one day. "So, if I buy this, does it go with that? Really? But it doesn't match!" I was having a hard time.

I didn't buy any "trendy" clothes that day, and haven't since, but it was kind of nagging at me. Until just this morning, I had a bit of a revelation. As I put on my favorite American Eagle jeans with the holes in the knees, I thought to myself "I'm such a t-shirt-and-jeans kind of girl". I am. Call it plain. Call it boring. I really don't care. I've decided that if I wear a t-shirt and jeans every day for the rest of my life, I'm ok with that. It's me. I guess it's another step in the constant growing up process. I became just a little more ok with who I am today. And I'm pretty convinced that no matter who I'm trying to minister to, THAT'S more relevant than wearing what they are.

Brag Blog

So, in case you didn't know, I have a pretty awesome best friend. No, seriously, she's great. We've been friends for quite a while, and we've learned each other's "friendship language". We know what makes each other tick...which isn't always pretty. Anyway, she knows one of my friendship, or love, languages is receiving gifts. Hers is quality time. I thought to myself after I opened my Christmas present from her this weekend, "Wow, how thoughtful is this?! I really wanted one of these, but haven't talked about it for some time, and she remembered and BOUGHT IT! Holy cow!" Like I mentioned, her love language is quality time. I always try to make a point to spend time going to lunch, coffee, or just hanging out together when Austin and I visit home. It doesn't seem like much to me, but I know that's what lets her know I value her as a friend. So, after I opened my present, we went to breakfast together. Now, I'm not only writing this blog to brag on my fantastic best friend, or how she bought me a Cricut for Christmas. Although she IS and she DID (OK, so maybe I am writing for that reason), but to say just how thankful I am for such a great best friend. God's brought us through a lot together--ups, downs, moves, break-ups, other heartbreaks, marriages, babies (well, one at least)--and has used our friendship to teach me a lot. Hmmm...I actually really did start this blog to brag on the gift I've become obsessed with, but even better than that is the sister I may not have been raised with, but have been blessed with.